Hello, and thank you for reading The Coaching Letter, I am grateful to you for investing your time in reading what I write, and I am extra special super grateful when you have the time to respond. I try to write something appropriate at Thanksgiving, and some years it’s harder than others. The situation in Israel and Gaza is so upsetting, and conflict continues in Ukraine, and let’s not forget that many other wars are going on in places that we don’t hear so much about, so please spare a thought for all who are suffering.
Thanksgiving is important because gratitude is important. You can read more about the science of gratitude in this recent New York Times article, “Gratitude Really Is Good for You”. I reposted my most popular ever Coaching Letter, about gratitude, a couple of years ago, so here’s the repost of the repost. I think there are two related big ideas, awe and belonging, and I wrote about them in CL #176. Awe, gratitude and belonging are a kind of holy trinity, essential to your physical, emotional and spiritual health, and you should put yourself in the space of both experiencing them and expressing them often.
I’m hosting an online book study on December 1 on the book Being Wrong: Adventures in the Margin of Error (email me if you want more details, and please consider reading the book, it’s terrific). And the dedication at the front of the book reads For my family, given and chosen. That resonates particularly strongly with me this year, as several of my relationships inside and outside of work have grown and taken on a depth that I wasn’t expecting but appreciate enormously. Sometimes people come into your life who are special in their own right, and who also decide to place trust and confidence in you, and that just feels like a miracle and a blessing combined. I am grateful for my chosen family who have, in turn, chosen me. And my given family continues to be a source of immense happiness and great fun, and I am grateful for them also.
Tomorrow morning I will be volunteering at the Covenant Soup Kitchen in Willimantic where one of my chosen family, Tosh, works. Here’s Tosh on TikTok making an appeal for support for CSK, and if you have the desire and the means to donate, here’s the link to the donation form. I would consider it a favor if you would donate to them, they do really great work. And I’ll be home all afternoon if you need someone to talk to--I’m not cooking for my given family, so you’ll be rescuing me from binge-watching The Crown.
Thank you for all you do for your own families, your friends, your students, your community. Everything we do in service of others matters, no matter how small. My favorite novel is Middlemarch, by George Eliot. It is a monumental work, and I love it very much. The main character, Dorothea, is the archetype of kindness and gentility, and when she dies, Eliot says this of her:
But the effect of her being on those around her was incalculably diffusive: for the growing good of the world is partly dependent on unhistoric acts; and that things are not so ill with you and me as they might have been, is half owing to the number who lived faithfully a hidden life, and rest in unvisited tombs.
The world is full of good and selfless people. So, this Thanksgiving, please have a wonderful time, and please express gratitude for those unhistoric acts, and don’t think that others don’t notice yours. We are all grateful for them. Love, Isobel
This was a blessing to read! Thankful for you and this letter!
Thankyou Isobel, what a lovely and heartfelt message to put out into the world 🙏